In honor of “Gratitude Month ” and addiction recovery, I thought it appropriate to write about appreciation and humility. Some of you may be wondering what appreciation and humility have to do with gratitude. If you read my previous article “Gratitude Is Not Simply a Word”, you know that you have to have both of these qualities in order to be truly grateful. If you haven’t read the previous article, no worries and even if you have, I hope this will give you something to reflect on.
Appreciation, a form of gratitude, is such an amazing and beautiful thing. It is a very precious gift many people misunderstand. Many of us misunderstand appreciation for politeness. Saying “thank you” and “I appreciate it” are words said often automatically and without feeling because it would be rude to do otherwise. Many of us only say thank you with feeling when someone does something really big for us like loan us money or go out of their way for us in some fashion. What we are neglecting to notice and appreciate are all those “little” things that people do that are kind and special. The things some people do because it’s who they are not because we ask them to. These very special people go unnoticed and unappreciated too often. It’s time to start letting them know how much of a difference they make in our lives.
In order to begin to see the individuals I’m writing about we must first humble ourselves. It’s time to realize that the world does not owe us anything; nor does anyone else (I was disappointed to discover this too); time to shed of that sense of entitlement. Stop thinking that you’re better than anyone else regardless of how many years of sobriety you have acquired, what your job title is, or how much money you make. If you have degrees and credentials, congratulations; that doesn’t mean that you know everything and have nothing else to learn. No one is ever “better” than anyone else and no one “knows it all”. If you identify with any of this, please take a moment. This is not being written to offend or attack anyone. Maybe if this is sparking something within, you are just due for a personal and spiritual tune-up. If you are caught up in yourself, how can you see the beauty around you?
Now that we are humble (or at least have the idea), we can move on to the beautiful and positive. There is a difference in asking someone to do something in which a “thank you” is expected from both sides or a person who does “kind” things because they expect gratitude, and someone who goes about their daily lives and has no idea that they are even being “kind”, “compassionate”, or “loving” because they make no effort to do so; they are these things….THAT is amazing and beautiful. This is a person you may not even really know but lights up a room whenever they walk into it, a friend who is always there to give a shoulder to cry on and you know will always listen without judgment, a significant other who knows you like no other and loves you for all that you are including your faults, an employee at a store who sees you need assistance without you asking and comes to your aid, a mentor, 12 step sponsor, supervisor or professor, or anyone that has ever told you something at just the right moment, believed in you, given you guidance and encouragement…let them know they make a difference. Let anyone who has had any positive affect on your life, big or small, know. This is how you spread joy, love, peace and appreciation.
It is amazing and beautiful that you will now see these special individuals. What is even more precious is the gift that you can give them. By taking just a moment to tell them, “I don’t think you realize how much…”, you are letting them know how special they are and letting some of their sunshine in to your own heart. You may make someone’s difficult day a bit better and spread some of your own sunshine.
Please take a moment and write a list of all the amazing people who have made a difference in your life, big or small. We spend too much time pointing out negative things. This is the time to start to point out the beautiful things in each other. Spread the appreciation, spread the smiles, spread the sunshine and celebrate the gratitude.